The ones who will expect to be entertained or catered to -- frankly, you don't need them around. If you have to let them come see the babies, be very clear beforehand that everyone in the house will be busy taking care of babies; tell them a short time frame and do whatever you need to do to enforce that, even if it means being rude. You don't have time to entertain someone; you'll be very busy and very tired, and keeping those babies fed, clean, and safe is the priority.
The ones who have can be helpful if they're told what to do -- tell them what to do. Don't be shy. Here's a short list of things people can do.
- Laundry, especially folding baby stuff. They can put it away, too, especially if you've labeled the drawers with what goes in them.
- Diaper a baby and bring him/her to mom to be fed. Take baby from mom to be changed.
- Hold a fussy baby.
- If babies are being bottle-fed, feed a baby
- Load/unload the dishwasher. Loading is easier because you don't have to know where everything is, but like the baby clothes, you could label your cupboards if you wanted to, and/or give a "where things go" lesson.
- Hold fussy babies.
- Bring you food and/or a drink when you're nursing.
Remember, too, that these are your babies. You and your husband have the last word about how they're handled, when and how they're fed, etc. If someone's trying to railroad you into something, you need to be the parents and do the right things for your babies. So if your mom says, "don't pick up that baby, you'll spoil it!" you pick that baby up and tell her that doctors now say it's not possible to "spoil" a child that young. If someone is around who's making you second-guess everything you do, they're not helping and they need to correct their behavior or go.
Even before the babies are born, people can help. They can bring food for the freezer, preferably something with protein and vegetables together, and something easy to cook. We're talking "throw it in the microwave" easy.
So what kind of help did I have? For the first week, my husband was home. That was lovely!
For the first couple of weeks, at least, my parents came over every day. I'm very fortunate that my parents are nearby and are quality helpers. After that, my Dad came every weekday for about four months. He'd help with diapering and holding and bringing them to me. He'd bring me food or water while I was nursing...he was awesome. I could get through any morning, no matter how rough, knowing that Dad would be over at 11 or 12, carrying a decaf frappacino or an Auntie Anne's pretzel...
My friend C- came over most mornings for the first couple of weeks after my husband went to work. She helped me take the babies to a doctor's appointment. She said she'd clean the clothes that ended up with poop on them as long as I gave her gloves...so I gave her gloves. She helped me get my son to latch on by grabbing my breast and stuffing it into his mouth. Yep. She had nursed all of her kids, and she knew exactly what to do. She was invaluable.
My sister provided us with a bunch of meals for the freezer. At the moment, I can't remember whether she brought them when the babies were a month or sometime before they were born. In any case, it was a lot of wonderful, wonderful meals, complete meals with meat and a starch, and veggies, all in one container. Heaven.
Other than that, we had some visitors who mostly came to see the babies but left in a reasonable time frame. It was nice to see them and they held babies.
We lucked out in the help department.
No comments:
Post a Comment